Unemployed 20-year-old son refuses to pay parents back after he uses their emergency credit card while they are on vacation, they kick him out in response: 'He left without a word'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Oct 16, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Do you believe that every single moment that kids over the age of 18 get to keep living in their parents' homes, they should be grateful? Or is it a parental requirement to ensure your kids have a roof over their heads, no matter how old they are?

Most parents would argue that the line is pretty blurry and that it is not easy to decide when and how they should "push" their adult kids out into the real world. 

That was certainly the case for the parents in the story below. Their 20-year-old son was still living with them even though he was not in school and had no job. They tried demanding rent from him, but until now, he has not paid a single penny. The situation reached a boiling point when the parents went on vacation, left an emergency credit card with their son, and returned to find out he had spent over $3000 on shopping and food. Still, he refused to pay them back.

This led them to kick him out, and he now blames them for his situation…

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  • 01
    Young man using smartphone and credit card for online shopping
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA: son moved out but is telling everyone we kicked him out?

    Son (20M) isn't in college. We told him the fall after high school that we would "charge him rent" of $500/mo.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 03
    That money would be put into a savings account for him, and then when he was ready to move out he would have a nice nest egg to start adulting with.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 04
    Last summer I left him my credit card "for emergencies" while we went away on vacation.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 05
    He spent $3k on clothes, food, etc while we were gone. Obviously none of the purchases were an emergency.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 06
    And no, he didn't have permission. We told him he needed to pay us back. He didn't.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 07
    He also barely ever paid the $500/mo "rent". This April we told him he had three months to pay us back half of the money he stole (so $1500) or he had to move out.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 08
    May comes, he pays nothing. June comes, he pays nothing. I said "are you looking for a new apartment?
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 09
    Because your deadline to pay us back is 1 month away". He started screaming that he was moving out.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 10
    The next morning he and his gf (she was basically living here too) left without a word and haven't been back since (this was July).
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 11
    He stopped by one time to pick up some clothes and his PlayStation and he didn't speak to us while here.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 12
    We are still paying his cell phone bill. We stopped paying his car insurance after he moved out.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 13
    He barely responds to text messages from me or his dad. I found out he is telling everyone that we kicked him out?
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 14
    Eco Archive
    via Annie Spratt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    I honestly didn't think we were being very strict. But the fact that he basically won't talk to us now, clearly means he thinks we were aholes?
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 16
    Were we?! update I'm new-ish to Reddit, so had no idea there would be this much response.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 17
    I'm not going through 800+ comments. But to answer the questions I saw repeatedly from the responses I did read: He has a job, and has since he was 16 (part-time).
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 18
    He doesn't stay in jobs long, 3mo - 1 year is typical for him. He makes $15-$22/hr at his jobs.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 19
    He has only worked full time for a few months, he was regularly working 25-35 hours per week since high school finished.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 20
    We have a family cell phone plan, it would actually cost me more money to cancel his phone than to just keep paying.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 21
    Plus, he can't get job interviews without a phone. We live in a state that doesn't require auto insurance, so he will not be fined if he doesn't provide his own.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 22
    I signed the car over to him when he left, so my name is no longer on the car.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 23
    I left the credit card for emergencies with the example of “if the water heater explodes, use this to pay the plumber".
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 24
    I also left $100 in cash to be used if food ran out (but also had groceries delivered while we were away).
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 25
    I can accept that I did, in fact, kick him out. And that we have enabled him to behave this way.
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 26
    Thanks for everyone's replies!
    via No-Wonder5226
  • 27
    Imaginary-Yak-6487 Stop paying the phone too.
    via Imaginary-Yak-6487
  • 28
    Traditional-Eye-7230 NTA. With a kid like this, it had to happen sooner or later. Better sooner. Stop paying his cell phone bill next.
    via Traditional-Eye-7230
  • 29
    Traepeezy Why on earth are you still paying the phone bill!? I don't know the dynamic but I can tell you he'd be missing a lot of things if somebody stole $3,000 from me. I'm rich by no means and I'd be on Facebook Marketplace with everythiiiiiiing. This kid clearly doesn't care about you and/or working and has already proven to not be trusted. He's 20!? Then who cares about what he says. A 20-year-old complaining about getting kicked out of their parents home is wild
    via Traepeezy
  • 30
    Chicago White Sox35 NTA. Change the locks. Stop paying his phone bill. He stole a lot of money from you didn't bother trying to pay it back. Let him take that attitude elsewhere.
    via ChicagoWhiteSox35
  • 31
    hopingtothrive >This April we told him he had three months to pay us back half of the money he stole (so $1500) or he had to move out. You did kick him out. Good for you. You stood up to him and kicked him out when he didn't pay, like an eviction. NTA
    via hopingtothrive
  • 32
    OGRealityCheck NTA, you didn't kick him out, he left on his own and then returned to retrieve more items. You should change the locks if you haven't done so already. He stole $3K without paying it back, what's to stop him from pawning some of your stuff the next time? Also, in case you didn't already, report that credit card as misplaced (lost/stolen) so that you're issued a new credit card number. That way he can't use that number again if he had it saved somewhere.
    via OGRealityCheck
  • 33
    grayblue_grrl NTA. Stop paying the phone bill. And if anyone accuses you - tell them about abusing your credit card. Not paying rent. Having his gf live with him and no payment. We said pay or get out, so he left. Boy apparently needs to learn the hard way.
    via grayblue_grrl
  • 34
    Impossible_Street614 Sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind. He seems to have an unhealthy dose of self entitlement that will not do anyone any good. Especially not him in the long term. You can't stop what he says to people. People who know you will understand what has happened. The people who don't know you. Their opinions are secondary to teaching your son a life lesson
    via Impossible_Street614

  • What is the right approach when young adults refuse to find their own way in life? Is it their fault, or are the parents to blame for the way they raised their kids in the first place?

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family drama aita credit card kids mother reddit story parenting family Reddit unemployment money parents children Father vacation young adult
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